2- My first love

This is actually pretty hard for me to think/write about.
I have oddly been dreaming about him recently. Nothing crazy like missing him, being with again, or anything like that. He is just there. Like we are just good friends hanging out. Crazy dreams.

He was the GOOFIEST kid I knew and I couldn't stand to be away from him. We were best friends. Inseparable. But a very odd couple.
I wouldn't say I was considered popular by any means in high school but I know it seemed odd me being with him. I mean he was a dork. But I liked my dork. All of them, the whole gang! We were cool dorks.
He was tall, freckly, and red headed. So adorable. *laughing* so goofy.

I remember we dated for 18 days in 8th grade. I only remember bc we eventually got together again freshman year and I made a big deal Halloween night about it being the 19th day! I was so proud. :P
Well the story goes...We were together all freshman year. Crazy in love. Such sweet puppy love.
That summer we respectfully discussed "the next step". Yeah.
He was my first, and I his. It was sweet in a way, at the time, bc we knew we would be together forever.
Of course that wasn't the case.
We carried on our happy relationship into sophomore year. We made a few new friends along the way, and, well, one of his new friends became his new "the one". One of many..

For our 1 year he got me a promise ring. Just to turn around not even a month later to tell me we were done.
Just like that. Everything was gone. I was crushed. Devastated.
I never believed in regrets and felt that I did what was right by me whether or not we stayed together. After all I did love him. It wasn't until I married that I wished things were different (as far as losing my virginity goes). My husband deserves to have had me all to himself. But that's not what we're discussing here is it..

Nicholas Bradley.

Nick, Nick, Nick... My how you have changed. My goofy dork very quickly turned into the guy that dated, dumped, and didn't care. Didn't care about the girls. Didn't care about his friends. Didn't care about himself. Just wanted a rep I guess. Well it wasn't a good one if you ask me. We didn't even try the whole "let's be friends" BS. We were smarter than that. But I still find myself missing him. Who he was. What his friendship meant to me. He's no longer that person in any way, shape, or form, and I'm certain never will be again. He lost himself.

Sometimes I think "I regret..." but when I really sit down and think about it (which I do quite often, lamely) I know I wouldn't be where or who I am today if it weren't for him. The whole experience. I really think that he was 'the one' in a very uniquely different type of way. He was the one who helped me discover me. Gave me life lessons to learn. Broke my heart so I could find out just how strong I was. Loved me enough to let me know that love existed. Somewhere. Somehow. Showed me where I wanted my life to go. It's bittersweet really.
I know I am extremely happy with my life because I so often thought "I will never lose myself the way he did".

I miss my friend a lot really. But I know this is the way it is supposed to be. And I am happy. Perfectly happy.